Where was David’s love for Tamar?

 I can understand that Amnon was the first born. Amnon was the heir to be King. However what really makes me confused is 2 Samuel 13:21 “When King David heard of all these things, he became very angry, but he would not punish his son Amnon, because he loved him, for he was his firstborn.” Absalom was able to plot and plan the murder of his brother Amnon for two years. David never did anything. He could have said he was not going to be King for disgracing his sister. David could have had him killed for raping Tamar, but all he did was get mad. Where was David’s love for Tamar?

Jacob’s sons slaughtered a whole town when his daughter was raped. Jacob was not pleased with this, but didn’t do anything against it. The idea of protecting ones family (even their sisters and daughters not just sons) is prevalent in the Bible. Why does Amnon’s sin get swept under the rug because he is first born? Deuteronomy 22:28-29 says, “If a man is caught in the act of raping a young woman who is not engaged, he must pay fifty pieces of silver to her father.  Then he must marry the young woman because he violated her, and he will never be allowed to divorce her.” David should have stepped up and made Amnon marry Tamar.

The http://www.womeninthebible.net/Tamar-Daughter-of-David.htm paints the picture of a heroic brother, Absalom avenging his sister Tamar. This website goes further with the story than my Bible described. It depicts a desperate brother, Absalom begging his father to make Amnon marry Tamar. Amnon refused. It is not hard for me to see why Absalom would rebel against David. David favored Amnon so much that he allowed Tamar’s life to be destroyed and Absalom lost all affection for his father.

David disregard for Tamar’s well-being lead to so many heartaches for him. Absalom killed David’s favored son, Amnon. Then Absalom forcefully overtook the kingdom from David. He raped David’s remaining wives publicly. David could have avoided this all by being a parent to Tamar and upholding God's law.